Notes on Nadiya's Nefarious Naughtiness.

[Nadiya Anderson]

Naughty in the misbehaving sense, not in the... sexy sense. 

So, the thing with Penner. I think I oughta explain what happened there, because on paper it looks like I framed the guy and screwed with the other tribe's politics for absolutely no reason, which is the stuff of epic-tier villainy. But that's not how I roll, and I want to set the record straight.

So, Penner went home. I feel kind of guilty about that, since I basically throatpunched him out of the game by calling him a crosstriber in public. Was it totally overblown compared to what he actually did? Oh, probably. 

Now, so that all of y'all out in PWland don't go, "What the hell, Nadiya, you are a total bitchwad!"  I do actually have an absolutely justified reason for why I did what I did.

There's an asshole in Can You Survive 12 who told me he applied to this game. Now, I'm not really into profanity, but in this case, there are no other words for this guy. He is an asshole. He says he didn't get in, but I don't believe him. He dicked me in CYS12, to an epic degree. He asked me to throw the IC so he could win and feel like he'd accomplished something, and since I was busy and I didn't care, I told him fine, but the last guy who asked me that was doing it to vote me off, so if he had better not be pulling anything stupid like that. He swore on his personal character and integrity that he would never ever be that much of a massive dickhead, and then proceeded to be exactly that much of a massive dickhead. Since I'm pretty sure that he was planning on doing that for about a year or so before he actually got around to pulling the trigger, he knew I'd come after him with a vengeance if I knew who he was, so he knew he couldn't tell me that he got into the game here. 

He's absofuckinglutely right. 

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Geeze, Nadiya, are you like seven years old? Let it go. Yes, this CYS12 guy has no dick and should be run over by a cement mixer, but that was some other game. It's not worth dickpunching Penner over. Heck, it's barely worth calling the guy an asshole over. Grow up." 

Which, hey, fine. I can respect the unwritten rules of ORGdom as much as the next person, nobody loves bitter betties, but here's where the lines got crossed.

Right before pulling off the biggest dick move in the history of dick moves, this asshole asks me to cyber with him. Straight up, tells me he wants into my character's bikini bottoms. He even tells me he's pretty sure I'm a guy (He's right. A born-again ex-construction worker, straight, and happily married, in fact.) I ignore the hell out of this idiotic proposition, because I'm sane. But turns out I'm not the only one. There's another girl in the cast, who is ACTUALLY a girl in real life. This asshole gets on AIM at the same time he's trying to charm his way into my panties, and, I shit you not, he describes himself date raping this girl. This actual female human being. Oh, and to cap it off? This asshole claims he's married in real life. 

So, yeah, you'd better believe when I sniff out this particular misogynistic human garbage heap, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get his ass voted out to the prejury in any and every game I find him in. I know some hallmarks of his typing style and how he operates, and one of the things he's famous for is crosstribing like a mofo. My top suspects were Jon and Penner, so when Penner PMed me, I went ahead and straight-up Watergated the hell out of the guy. 
 
So, after all that? Turns out it was a case of mistaken identity. So... uh... oops. My bad. After Penner was voted out I figured out who the guy was (not by crosstribing, he's a member of a forum I'm a member of), and the poor bastard is totally innocent, and is in fact a hardcore Christian and the son of a pastor. So in light of that, I kind of regret accusing him of the things I accused him of. But I think he'd understand why I did what I did. 

That being said, I still strongly suspect Jon, and even if he turns out to be innocent, I'm going to vote him off the first chance I get. I've still got some righteous anger coursing through these veins. 

[Nadiya Anderson]

Confirmed. Jon is totally that guy.

[Nadiya Anderson]

I have to suck up and pretend that I'm thrilled to be on a tribe with the guy. This afternoon he outed my alias in every game he knew I was in, so I expect an Oscar for this performance.

[Nadiya Anderson]

Ding dong, my friends. Ding. Dong.

[Nadiya Anderson]

I'm not sure how to feel about that last challenge. I'm happy that we won, because it would have been a really tough decision if we had gone to tribal council this round, and it does totally prove that we're capable of winning without Jon's cowardly quitter ass ("something came up" my ass, he's giving thesis-length jury answers in that other game. Dude just didn't want to give us the satisfaction). Still, I'm frustrated that three of out of our six couldn't get here in time. Rudy I know is having computer issues, but where were Kathy and Natalie? It's frustrating, because I don't want to have to vote them out just yet, they'll be good jurors to have on my side if I make the end. (And yeah I know it's probably a bit presumptuous to be thinking about that just yet, but I'm trying to be positive!) Rudy's computer died, but he didn't tell anybody else as far as I know, and Richard was here but as helpful as a bread submarine.

Still. We won. We kicked ass. Jon's gone. I'm not gonna complain too much!

[Nadiya Anderson]

Well, how IRONIC. After I beat Jon into the pavement because of previous games, Jefra's coming after me... because of previous games. I really hate it when I get punishments that I completely and utterly deserve. It really makes me less sympathetic when I write bitchy confessionals about it. 

So, Jefra is after me. I can't say that I blame her. She's seen me be a strategic and physical threat before, so obviously she's gonna come after me if she gets a shot. I personally think it's a bit stupid, because I've been her ally in the last couple of games we played together, but... it's Jefra. Jefras gonna Jefra, and that's about the long and short of it. 

It probably also doesn't help that we're in epicsbb2 together, and I helped write a movie which heavily mocked her broken English and had her boyfriend leave her for me, and then killed her character off. I imagine that's not really considered "endearing."

But luckily for me, Erica forgot to play her idol at last TC like she was supposed to, and Ashley decided to show me hers. Since I was the one who helped Erica get her idol, I knew that they were the exact same except for a palette swap. Using the old Coron banner as a color guide, it took me like fifteen seconds to whip up a convincing fake:

Remember, kids, investing a few minutes into introductory Photoshop techniques is always worth your while!

The cherry on top of this totally bogus sundae is that I also knew exactly how to prove that I got the idol because I was the one who walked Erica through it, so Jefra and her allies appear to have fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. Oh, and because of previous games, Jefra knows that when I say I'm gonna play an idol, I sure as hell do it. 

I debated long and hard about whether to take out Carter or Allie, but what ultimately cinched it for me was the extreme lack of fucks that Jefra gave when it became really apparent that Carter was going to get votes tonight, and possibly get his ass idoled out. She didn't appear even mildly concerned about this prospect, which to me means that she's got a side deal somewhere. My money's on Gina, who I know has been double-dipping by getting me/Ashley/Rudy into a final four on top of her/Allie/Ashley in a final three. 

So I think I'll take out Allie tonight, so that Gina will be weakened. Erica should be returning from vacation soonishly, so I'll have her, Ashley, and Rudy in with me, and Carter will totally owe me his ass. Gina will be pissed, but in theory I'll have two idols on my side, and everything will be gravy from here on out.  

[Nadiya Anderson]

Oooooooh, that conniving bitch Ashley.

On the one hand, I understand why it was a decent enough move for her, and she could absolutely have told the boys that I didn't actually have an idol, so she's probably not all that interested in actually screwing me over. 

BUT, that being said, Rudy was a friend of mine, and now it looks like I dicked him when I didn't, and that pisses me off. I don't like looking stupid or traitorous in front of my friends. 

There's part of me that thinks that Ashley might have just been playing it safe, buuuuuuut I didn't get an IM or PM from her about it, and she hasn't done jack all in the way of apologizing to me, which I'm gonna take to mean that she's really hoping that I'm going to get taken out here. 

For right now, my plan is to win immunity. I've been playing it kind of chill in the challenges thus far, but I'm not afraid to unleash my inner badass and do whatever it takes to get the job done. I would have won that last challenge if I hadn't been busy all night, and I'm reasonably certain that if this next challenge involves actual skill and talent, I can knock it out of the park. I'm pissed off as all hell, and I'll do whatever it takes to win. 

If I don't win, best-case scenario is that Spencer wins. Carter obviously knows that Ashley and I would vote for Spencer over him any day of the week, so his little Immunity deal is a completely risk-free move. I'm making sure that Spencer knows that, and that he'll know exactly how hard Carter has been throwing him under the bus to Rudy all game. I'm not afraid to get into a tiebreaker and take someone down mano a mano. 

If Carter or Ashley wins, well, then I guess we'll see what happens, won't we? I think it'd be a tougher sell to flip Spencer there, but it's possible they'd vote for Spencer over me because he has guaranteed votes from Jefra and Allie. I could just blackmail Ashley and tell her I'll vote for Spencer if I lose, and that makes three automatic votes against her, factoring in that Gina will never vote for her, she'd need every single other vote to win the game. I'm not sure what I'll do yet, but I definitely won't be giving up yet. I wanna win this thang. 

[Nadiya Anderson]

Also, I just had to find a reason to post this gif. I love that Natalie is high-fiving the small child, while at literally the same time Nadiya's just like, "Out of the way, bitch!"

Definitely time to get in touch with my inner orphan shover.